12th January 2009
It was not to be just one of 104 Saturdays or Sundays in an open annual calendar. In fact, it’s a Monday. Not simply a day where we were not both travelling, or studying, nor a day that was approximately a year away. Not simply a day where the venue was available, or the wedding officiant not engaged. It was not to be on a virtuous day imposed upon us by Chinese astrologists based on the times and dates of our birthdays. It is not dotted with the “lucky” number 8 and does not sound deliberately or even remotely prosperous. It is not the anniversary of our engagement, nor our first meeting, nor the day we started of our courtship. Yet, it is the only date that could ever make sense. Without this date there is nothing, but a vacuum. There is no creation. No beginning.
For nearly two months after we became officially engaged, I began to wonder like everyone else where a wedding date was. It was nowhere in sight. You can only hide behind I’m just letting it all sink in for so long before you begin to question yourself. Is it because you don’t want to get married? I’m not sure – could it be? Is he not the one? He’s the only one. So Joanie, why are you stalling?
All I could see were sterile dates. Bland and insignificant. Dates imposed upon us by non-working days of the week. Man-made days such as the ones we make for ourselves i.e our monthly/yearly anniversaries, the day we met, and so on and so forth. Whilst those dates had a special place in our hearts, were they truly worthy of our wedding day? How can we make it mean much more? How can we add depth to an otherwise brainless task of choosing a date? Why am I making this so hard? Am I just a superficial bridezilla who nit-picks on something as silly as a date?
Something so simple yet so paralysing. I couldn’t do it. As much as I loved Gavin, if it meant I had to pick a random date, I’d rather spend the rest of my life with him without marriage or a fairytale wedding. A random date was just.not.good enough.
Then it came. A ray of inspiration through the cloud of confusion.
12th January 1977 was the day my parents were married.
All my life, I’d taken their relationship for granted. Of course ALL parents giggled, cuddled and kissed in front of other people and their children. Of course ALL parents walked everywhere hand in hand. Of course ALL dads give ALL mums absolutely everything and anything she wants. 30 years of countless I-Love-Yous. Countless I-Miss-Yous. There were difficult and trying times, but those were always easier compared to keeping them apart. There were fights but missing each other was always good enough reason to kiss and make up. They are embedded in each others’ soul, so quickly can such a statement be dismissed as cliche, but it plainly encapsulates the love my parents have for each other. And I am their child, and borne by this love that they surround me.
The date on which they married may have been random or even convenient for them, but certainly there is nothing random about 32 years of a prevailing, tried and tested love affair. It is this I seek. To marry and prepare for our wedding day, this desire had to foremostly be ascertained. No other date makes more sense than the 12th of January and I want to carry this date with them and for them. I choose this date, not in superstition, but as a symbolism of my heart’s deepest hopes and prayers for our upcoming marriage.
Gavin and I have both fallen in love with the significance of this date, and thus will marry on Monday, 12th January 2009 at 12.00noon at the Victorian Marriage Registry, Old Treasury Building, Spring Street, Melbourne. If you would like to attend our very intimate registration of marriage, please email/call us and let us know. Otherwise, we look forward to sharing our very special day with our very important, beautiful invited guests on the 17th of January, commencing with the reaffirmation of our self-written vows and celebratory reception to follow!
